CHRIST UNITED METHODIST CHURCH ADOPTION MINISTRY

"Building The Family of Christ"

John 4:18-I will not leave you as orphans. I will come to you.

143 Million Orphans Worldwide

113,000 adopted annually by Americans

Over 80 million individuals have expressed interest in adopting

1 child is adopted each year for every 3 churches in the U.S.

National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month. Please keep the following in prayer this month and throughout the year:

l. Praise God for a new ministry- Orphans Voice - a combined effort of Focus on the Family, Family Life and Steven Curtis Chapman/Shaohannah's Hope. Keep them in prayer as they combine to take on the huge job of mobilizing the Christian community to action in orphan care and adoption of the 143 million orphans worldwide. Look for their radio broadcasts throughout next week or go to www.VoiceoftheOrphan.org.

2. Pray for our CUMC Orphan Care/Adoption Ministry. Last year we started with the church bulletin board and other adoption info and resources. Pray for guidance in what the next step is. Pray for others to join me in this ministry-it doesn't have to take a lot of time.

3. A simple way to participate is to go to www.rainbowkids.com , a waiting child photolisting, cut out a photo to keep in your Bible and pray for that child. You may be the only person to ever pray for that child.

Adoption is my passion - when I was in 5th grade I met a girl who had no parents and that changed my life. I knew then that God was calling me personally and professionally to adoption. It is exciting for me to see this passion developing in the Christian community as we more fully realize the need. It can be in small ways. There was a recent article about a group that donated stuffed animals to some local waiting children. One child was able to come back and tell them just how much that meant to her - she had named her teddy bear Mommy and was finally able to have a "Mommy" to cry to each night. Heartbreaking, yet moving story. Pioneer Girls will be doing a service project this year and learning about adoption. Consider how your group can help support orphans in some small way! Thanks!

Lynne Stanker

Orphan Care Projects

• Shaohannah's Hope - www.shaohannahshope.org One time and ongoing orphan care projects including:
• Shaohannah's Hope General Fund - supports grants enabling families to adopt
• East Asia Tsunami Orphans - support orphans who lost their parents in the tsunami
• Uganda Orphanage - 34 orphans rescued from terrorist groups are living with no water, electricity or windows in a facility with just a few rooms -help rebuild and enlarge this orphanage
• China -Hope Foster Home - provides medical care/treatment and long term care for special needs orphans

Considering Adoption?

Choosing an Adoption Agency

There are many reputable agencies that offer a variety of domestic and international programs. You may want to use some of the above listed resources to find lists of adoption agencies, programs and requirements, questions to ask an agency and more. There are advantages to using a local agency - they may offer ongoing support which you will need during your wait. (It is not easy knowing if your child is coming next month or in two years!) The wait for a domestic adoption is often extremely variable. Occasionally even relatively stable international programs suddenly "change" or temporarily close due to a restructuring or other unforseen circumstances, requiring a longer wait or change in programs. It is very important to get references from a number of families who have recently used the agency AND the specific program you are considering within the agency. You can find families in your local adoption or online support group. A list of online groups can be found at www.adoptivefamiliesmagazine.com.

FAQ - Frequently Asked Quesions About Adoption

1. Am I too old to adopt? Probably not - all agencies and countries have different rules - some allow adoptions up to age 55 or older.

2. What if I am single or divorced? This are many agencies that work with single and/or divorced individuals.

3. How can I afford adoption? There is an incredible amount of adoption assistance available. There is a $10,000 adoption credit available from the Federal government. Many places of employment and others offer grants. Many banks offer low cost adoption loans. Shaohannah's Hope (see above) offers grants and explains the many financial resources in more detail - see "adoption assistance"

4. Will I be able to love a child who joins our family through adoption as much as a birth child? Yes, the love for your child is the same regardless of how they enter your family. Families who adopt children of different races/ethnicities eventually find they almost forget they look different from each other. He/she will be your "own" child; you will be their "real" parent. They will not be your "adopted child"; they will be your own child, who happened to join your family through adoption.

5. I really don't want to deal with diapers and the high demands of an infant, so what about an older child? There are lots of wonderful older children to adopt but its not the easy way out by any means! The first three years of a child's life are crucial to their long term emotional development. In general, children who were adequately cared for (whether at home, in foster care or in an orphanage) during their first 2-3 years learn to trust and will attach to and learn to love their new family. It may still take a great deal of time, love and patience to help these children adjust.

6. What about older children who experienced neglect or abuse and did not get their most basic needs met early on? Many children who were neglected or abused during their first two to three years have greater difficulty attaching to and trusting a new family. During their foundational years they learned that adults do not meet their basic needs. To survive in their world, they learned to get their own needs met (or what they think their needs are), often in inappropriate and ineffective ways. They learn to be superficially charming to others as a "cover" while they survive by being incredibly sneaky, manipulative and controling. Parenting such a child can involve extreme amounts of patience and self control, structure for the child, and the ability to parent a child who does not respond well to or appreciate your love and care - no matter now long or hard you try! If a child you are considering may have this history look long and hard at your abilities to care for such a child. The good news? A better understanding, early diagnosis and treatment of attachment disordered children is improving the outlook for some of these children.

Infertility Support

Resolve - www.resolve.org - support and information for those experiencing infertility or multiple miscarriages

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